Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Gone, Gone, Gone!

Gone like a freight train, gone like yesterday, gone like (I can't remember the rest).

Yes, I have been gone from the blogging world for awhile. The main reason is because I had SO MANY fun people come visit me in October and Greg is out of town.

Basically, this is a venting blog (just a disclaimer). Not because I am jealous of anyone, the people I am mentioning in my blog I admire, but I just wonder how they do it. I feel like I never have time to blog, never have time to read, my house is never clean, I don't play with my kids enough, I don't bathe them everyday, I get mad at my kids, I'm not organized (that's an understatement, I am the complete opposite of organize, I basically feel like I live on the verge of chaos), I don't work out as much as I should, I don't get enough sleep, I don't make anything crafty or scrapbook (I can sew, I just don't feel like I have time to), don't read my scriptures enough, I can never remember to say my morning prayers, etc. Sometimes I just feel like I am one of those frogs in the boiling water and I am just swimming and swimming and barely keeping my head above the water.

And then I read other people's blogs and these are all the cool things they do: read at least 3 books a week, have triplets, run marathons and half marathons, have special needs kids that they are amazing with, shoot music videos, write books, teach parenting classes, scrapbook, sew, make crafts, cook yummy (and healthy) dinners every night, have all there kids do chores everyday, and so on. And alot of these people are moms who have just as many (or more) kids as I do, are wonderful moms who always do fun stuff with their kids, and some of them have part-time and full time jobs (really easy jobs like, school psychologist, nurse, medical transcriptionist, nurse, etc.)! And all I'm wondering of all you wonderful people out there who do all these cool things, is honestly, how do you have time? I love the people who do these things and admire them and want to be more like them for all the things they accomplish, but where would I find the time?

So this is an honest question to all of you out there doing all these "cool" things, is there some secret way for me to manage my time better? Please share it with me, I need help! I really didn't post this blog for everyone to write things like "oh Christy, you do so much, you're so amazing!" I really do want help!!

ALso, I screwed up my blog! How did I do that? I am also not very good at blogging! Can someone tell me how to fix it?

Sorry, I don't mean for this to be a negative post. I love my life, I have such a wonderful family and such amazing friends, I am truly blessed way beyond anything I deserve.

I just wish I wasn't so overwhelmed all the time . . .


Jessica said...

christy, i know exactly how you feel. and honestly, i think every mom feels exactly the same way at some point of their day/week/life. i think its important to remember that there is a time and a season for everything in life. the entire year (and then some) after sophie was born was one long waking nightmare for me. i wasn't even treading water, i was drowning in that boiling water. every single thing you just described was my life (seriously, check out my blog archives from last summer). looking back on it now, i think that part of the reason we go through trials and hard things is to make us better appreciate when life is going easier -- its that whole opposition in all things and what your perspective is.

in trying to think of advice to give you, i'm trying to figure out what i've done to make life easier and honestly, its mostly just because the circumstances are much easier now -- the kids are all a year older (making a HUGE difference), sophie doesn't have quite as many issues, i can sleep through the night now (in theory), and ethan is in school (although not for long enough). i would just say persevere and hang in there.

that being said, 3 things currently help me to maintain my sanity (because i feel like i'm constantly living on the edge of chaos myself): 1.) if i don't get to the gym every day, i become a very grumpy and mean mother. even when the last thing i feel like doing is working out, i just remind myself that i can drop the girls off in the child care and get an hour all to myself without having to do anything for anyone else. 2.) every tuesday night is cereal night for dinner. this is easy on the budget, and its an easy night on me. and 3.) having my calling of being the Teachings for our Times teacher in relief society has been a blessing in helping me to really study the conference reports and what the prophet and apostles are counseling us to do. there are so many times during the day/week/month where i feel so completely overwhelmed and tired of dealing with cranky children or the mountains of laundry that never quite get all the way done or the guilt at not being as together a mom as others out there, and as i've read the talks and prepared lessons, it has helped me to feel like i can do this. even when its hard and i don't want to, i can do this.

anyway, this is basically a novel. i'm sorry if none of it helps you! but just know that you are NOT the only mother who feels that way. for the record i've already lost it with ethan like 5 times this morning. and my kids are rarely bathed. the end. hope you have a good day!

Abbie said...

I feel the same way. i always feel overwhelmed, and I only have two kids. I've pretty much given up TV. That gave me more time for um...blogging. I should be doing other things, but I decided my blog is my journal. When I'm 98 years old and Forrest is dead and my kids live too far away to visit, I will be looking at my blog. This is what I tell myself when I don't want to blog, then I have the motivation to post, even if it is just a picture. But I do enjoy blogging.

And, let's be honest, when I'm blogging about all the amazing things our family is doing, I'm in my pajamas, not showered, and my kids are not being watched.

You need to change your template to minima (i think that's what it's called, it's the plain white one) before you upload a template. Does the make sense? Let me know if it doesn't.

P.S. it was fun to see you the other night. I always love talking to you about baby/natural birth stuff.

Andrea said...

Christy, I love you like mad. You have written how I feel most of the time! I know you were referring to me on some things (school psych comment) and I hope you don't think I do all these things stress-free and naturally.

I am in sane most of the time, my house isn't clean, and some things that people consider a must, I don't. I don't go out with friends much, I don't do the little extras, and I don't spend enough time with my husband and kids, and I don't cook mucheither. I try my best with all I have to do and then I just give myself a break and figure I did my best.

But here is my biggest secret: STOP guilting yourself over the things you don't do. Honestly, we can't do everything and the things we do are based on our CHOICE. I make time for blogging because I love it. I make time for teaching a parenting class because I love it. I don't make time for organization or cleaning bathrooms because they aren't a priority right now.

The other big secret: Nate does A TON around here. He picks up where I slip. We really, really have to work together for me to work outside the home. And although he is wonderful and great, it drains us.

Did you read my "Road Not Taken" post? I have been contemplating how to quit my job or do less professionally because it is impossible to do it all. If I've made you think I can do it all then I've lied on my blog to you. I think if you spend a week at my house you'd walk out realizing that YOU ARE ON TOP OF THINGS!!

I can't wait to see you--that is something I can always find time for!!

Peter & Eli said...

christy, i don't have any kids and don't do any of those things either! i don't have a job, i don't work out (although i'm PLANNING on it today), i don't do any of those "craft" things. but i do watch several shows while hanging out with one of my friends. i WATCH people work out on BL. I laugh at stupid people on the office. I eat out. I don't clean my house. And, I haven't been grocery shopping in 3 weeks. Don't feel bad. Want to know what I do to feel better? Ice cream (sometimes I even let peter have some).

heidi said...

christy, just follow jess's advice. i was inspired by it. anything i had to say will not be as good as what she said. oh, but i have noticed a WORLD OF DIFFERENCE if i get up 30 minutes earlier than i was. i sort of get a little excited about being up earlier because it is my time to read scriptures, not have a boogery child on my lap while i am eating a meal and i pretend i am single and living in my house all by myself.

Tiff said...

Christy I loved this post! I'm so glad to find out that I am not the only who feels like I'm drowning. I'm not going to give any advice because you already have some great advice from the above posts but hang in there. Having young kids at home is hard and time demanding but there will come a time when they aren't home anymore and we will wish for these times back. I have to constantly remind myself to relax and try to enjoy the stage of life I am in because I know it won't last forever. I also feel like the guilt that most moms feel is the adversary trying to bring us down. You are doing a good job and I know because I just witnessed it! I love you and just know that even though it looks like we have it all together, we really don't.

momof3crazykids said...

Well, my house is a mess most of the time, we never have food in the house and now my kids are all in school. So all I do is read and blog. I don't think I would ever have done any of this when the kids were younger. I had mine all 5-6 years apart for a reason.

Megan said...

ummm...I hate the crafty, cute make everything from scratch mom's too. They make me feel so guilty (or maybe that is me making myself feel guilty but it is all their fault!). I remind myself that they probably pay someone to clean their house or take their laundry to the dry cleaner! I loved visiting you (and I would send you a thank you card, but that is something that those crafty, cute, make everything from scratch moms do) so this comment will have to do...just pretend that you got it in the mail!!! Christy, I love you tons and I think you are a great mom that is feeling just like the rest of us.

Ryan said...

I do amazing stuff all day long. It really isn't hard at all. A couple hits of speed and I am revving to go. So if you ever feel like you aren't measuring up just remember it is probably because you haven't had your "vitamins" that day.

Summer said...

If you get answers to any of those questions, pass them on to me!!!!

Randi Gerber said...

I am just glad that I'm not the only one that feels this way. I see everyone's scrap books, and think, wow, my poor kids will get a box or a memory card except for Katie who has about 6 months scrapped booked. Oh well, I decided that I will make a lot of money and pay someone else to clean my house and scrapbook for me. Good plan I know. Thanks for being willing to share.

Liz said...

I completely know how you feel. I used to feel like a world class multi-tasker until I had another kid and now I don't know where my days go.

I love to have a clean house, but had to get rid of my chore chart because it was reminding me how much I wasn't doing.

I do a good job at reading to my kids, but then I can't read myself. (unless I'm into a series and my kids reading gets minimized)

I KNOW I don't read my scriptures as much as I should or as deeply. I figure if I can at least get ONE verse in it will be ok because motherhood is so valiant.

I don't like to scrapbook at all, but have gotten into digital scrapbooking because it is quick, easy and cheap. (www.memorymixer.com)

I think mom's that do a lot of time consuming things just put those as a higher priority. Your post shows that you are putting your kids needs before yours and that is great. Have you read Pres. Monson's talk from last conference called "enjoying the journey". Apparently we are going to miss all of this someday, but it's hard to think of that when it's going on.

I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job and even though we only stay in touch through our blogs I still love you. :-)